Monday, April 30, 2012

@&%^$BB post

i am ruined for this day

bad tragedy, bad mad, bad emotion, bad thinking lead to bad sleep

i really hate when my sleep is interrupted with worldly affair

the whole dream world vanishes and shattered into pieces

terrible. and waking up is not as refreshing as i wish as a day-start

negative thinking surrounded me, the brain, and each of my action

oh i start to ruin myself

start to put myself into risk, not doing assignment, failing all the tasks of daily basis

yeah, i woke up lake today. and i have a lot of commitment today

not feeling of doing any

want to lay down and have a rest, staring ceiling all day

doing nothing but only thinking

screaming, yelling, making others feel bad

o rebellious devil-like soul, GO AWAY.

hey, i am in lecture right now and writing this @&%^$BB post.

and reading a book 'stolen' from Tika:

chicken soup for the soul: THINK POSITIVE

.let's boost my positive thinking, praying Allah will help me.

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

lemah

Kadang-kala, hati ini sering-sering mengugut aku

akan janji yang ku lafazkan saat aku terumbang-ambing

aku berjanji dgn DIA

akan lebih menumpahkan taat setia

akan lebih jujur saat jiwa berbicara iman

akan lebih ikhlas utk turun ke medan jihad

untuk lebih bersedia menjalan tugas hamba

.lesu.

.kecewa.

'hey atiqah. mana pergi janjimu? mahu dia menarik kembali anugrahNya?'

bukankah cabaran itu santapan jiwa pendekar?

mana mungkin si penakut mampu berdiri di barisan hadapan

mana mungkin andai kau sering-sering menolak peluang

mana mungkin andai kau menidak kebolehan

astaghfirullah

.berikanlah aku kekuatan.

'Ya Allah, berikanlah kami,
 iman yang sebenarnya sehingga kami tidak lagi gentar atau mengharap org lain selain Engkau sendiri'

lemah. x mahu aku futur dlm perjuangan ini T.T


Thursday, April 19, 2012

weird dream



last night, i had a weird dream.

not scary one neither tears-all-over kind

it was weird, to meet someone from my cohort in secondary school setting

dreams should be in its places

should not be scattered

and yeah, she was not one of my league

and she's a year older than me

but in that dream, she was one year younger from me

one thing i can't forget, she said to me

"you know, i am trying to change so hard. i tried. will try again"

perhaps i ignore her too much back days,

i left her helpless

i didn't behave like a muslim sister to her

i had a big slap last night

scared like hell

oh, forgive me dear, forgive me Allah

.should be more attentive to ummah.






Wednesday, April 18, 2012

alhamdulillah,

it has been 74 days

and hoped to be forever till Jannah

:)

Monday, April 09, 2012

:)

Biarkan dia menjadi 'Umar

untuk ketegasannya mempertahankan agama

Relakan dia menjadi Fatih

agar dia mampu menjadi sebaik-baik jundi-Allah

Redhakan namanya Zayd

mohon agar dia juga menjadi kesayangan Tuhan dan RasulNya


Raikan dia bernama Safiyyah

atas ketabahan dia menjadi 'asing' dalam dunia ini

Doakan jiwanya Aisyah

buat kekentalannya menegakkan kebenaran Illahi

Rindukan dia bernama Maryam

atas kesolehan yang menutupi ruang lingkup hatinya

Doakan mereka begitu :)

ameen. insyaAllah.

Sunday, April 08, 2012

buat al-hubb

Ya Allah

Jika kau jadikan dia air,

Maka jadikanlah aku manusia.

Agar hilangnya dia,

Membuat jiwaku resah menunggu.

Ya Rabb

Jika kau takdirkannya udara

Hidupkan aku sebagai manusia

Kerna tanpa ia

Tumpaslah kudrat nafasku

Ya Illahi,

Jika ketentuanMU padanya laut

Jadikanlah aku manusia

Kerna dengannya

Aku terbuai dgn tenang

Ya Tuhan

Jadikan dia antara makhluk-makhlukMu

yg sering merinduiMu

yg sering menginginkanMu

sering-sering kepingin berjuang untukMu

kerna aku

mahu jadi insan yang tak pernah jemu merinduinya

saban ketika juga waktu.

-wifey ^.^-