it has been quiet a while
i mean our marriage
hay, doesn't mean it feels ages for me
but people out there have started thinking or assuming
that we should have a child by now
ummm. let me do the thinking,
when people were joking bout me and keep teasing bout it,
i admitted that i still could laugh and 'enjoyed' the teasing together with them
but in these few days,
when it became chronic
i startled and could only return the soft-gooey smile
which was filled with different feelings in a blink
and i poured that to hubby
and he said
"i'm not sad or feel anything when people asking that,
it's just the matter of Allah's rezqi
but if that does make u sad, it saddens me too"
and he stopped. for quiet a time.
i know he does really mean it
so i do stop the thinking too. the negative one.
i bet his thought is the only thing that i care enough
other than My Allah
i know Allah has decided the best journey for me to be fully-prepared when receiving that little tiny caliph
.is the test of patience.