baitul warith

it was the best thing ever happen in my life

it is still the deepest love i ever feel

.baitul warithian.

syamim.tika.kema.kakjen.nisa.iwa

u are my world

i miss u lillahitaala

.don't leave me.

p/s: come and get me, im sinking here, im drowning.

please? please? please...

jalan yg mana?

pernah ada dalam dua posisi dalam satu masa?

yg kedua-duanya kelihatan tepat

yang kamu mahu kedua-duanya bahagia

ya rabbi

tunjukkan aku jalan

:(

tolong

tolong ingatkan aku

tika aku mengeluh kesah

yang jalan ini memang bukan mudah

jalan ini bukan bersendi tawa dan bahagia

kerna ini ruang perjuangan

mahu jadi serikandi

perlu tabah dan besar jiwanya 'atiqah

tolong tenangkan aku

tika aku menangis lelah

bahawa tiap titik air mataku

adalah pemadam dosa semalam

tiap rasa dan luka mendatang

menguji siapa aku disisi tuhan

tolong nasihati aku

tatkala aku dirudung murung

ikhlas itu pengubat jiwa hamba

yang sering-sering rindukan dunia

maka aku

'atiqah harus lurus niatnya

hanya mengharap redha illahi

'atiqah

ini jalan ke syurga

memang tak pernah akan mudah

:)

Jalan

Ya Rabbi

ampunkan aku, ampunkan aku, ampunkan aku

today

16 November 2011

it is another 3 days left

the day i am going home

the day i will leave this 'baitul'

dunia yang satu ini

bukan mudah

buat insan culas dan leka seperti aku

yg sering-sering tersasar jatuh

aku seakan merpati tinggi

megah dipandang bebas dihina dek hidup melarat

mengharap simpati dan kasih Illahi

agar terus menuntun aku ke redha-Nya

dunia ini memang bukan mudah

ironinya, ia penuh dgn teman-teman

penuh dengan harapan dan do'a

menghadap suratan dan takdir menjerut batin

yang mencuka rasa hati agar menjadi sejati

lewati masa-masa kenangan

aku kaget dengan diri

perubahan

kekecewaan

keinginan

impian

harapan

entah tak tahu andai ini baik atau tidak

moga Allah memberi yang sepatutnya

buat hamba seperti aku

mohon kau lorongkan aku ke pangkal jalan-MU

.Ya Rahman.

i desperately want to fly

i desperately want to fly

but i couldn't as i have no wing

not that i'm not trying

it is not i'm not finding ways to do so

i tried hard

i cut myself into small pieces and throw them to the air

i fold myself into jet-shaped origami and throw it harder this time

but

it won't fly far

it won't fly high

i am destined to be a human

i am not a bird

neither cloud

anyone willing to be on land?

*i will try to build a plane with you and fly together*

'layang-layang' november

layang-layang yang terbang mengikut nadi angin

tak pernah mampu statik

rasa yang bercampur baur melayang

tak pernah mampu aman

kecewa, andai itu yang mampu hati ini loretkan

sedih, andai itu yg mampu rasa ini lontarkan

tapi ketahuilah jiwa

kadang-kadang apa yang kita anggap and harap bukanlah realiti

apa yg kita mahu terjadi mungkin bukan yg terbaik

apa yg diri merintih mungkin pembakar jiwa mujahadah

mengajar diri jiwa hamba yang lemah

yg seringkali butuh bantuan-Nya

berdoalah

agar ia jadi bekal masa depan

berdoalah

agar diri mampu jadi seteguh Maryam

berdoalah

agar taubat ssesempurna 'Umar

:)

Sad song that makes me happy :)

~.~

yeah, i'm bad in consistency.

especially in anything to do with internet, gadget, or technology

so, no more photo update----until day 0.

bhuahaha

ntah

i'm feeling bad

yeah. i know. i'm always bad. i know. i'm mean. i know

i am no good

i just want to do my responsibility here

as good as i can

even if the result is not something I can be proud of

at least I tried the best

then I have another to settle when I do back to Malaysia

then I need to go back to Penang

For the time being,

I need to fight, with myself, my inner devilish whispers

=.=

Ya Rabbi

.help me.

again

and again

and again

Day47

self-obsessed Korean-like feeling *.*

Day48

missing pic

(update soon)

.

.

.

.

.

.

circle of hope

Day49

Sleepy Weather

Day50

Sweet Delicacy

THE 50 DAYS' JOURNEY

i'm counting days to go back

Malaysia, i'm coming hooomeeeeee!!!

but my heart?

i like here

all about it, the pain, the laugh, that i endure along this experience,

the breeze, the air, the culture itself

'Sydney was not a good start for me' i once said that

yes, it was, but it is not a bad journey i would say

i learnt a lot

and i'm still learning

no matter where

and how

'THE 50 DAYS' JOURNEY'

begins

:)

;(

21/9/2011

a place where u seems not belong,

a heart that seems isn't yours,

a love which seems never long-lasting,

the good deeds that failed to maintain,

a family who frequently faces hardship of life,

a health that usually makes u emotional

i hope i wont lose all at the same time. :(

la tahzan 'atiqah

masalah, hahaha

im sorry

'Maafkan aku! Jika kau terluka. Jangan berharap pada diri ini. Lihatlah aku, terimalah aku. Jika aku lemah, jangan turut menangis. Jika aku kecewa, jangan turut tertunduk. Jangan luluh kerana aku. Jangan menyesal kerana aku. Aku butuh teman. tapi tolong! tinggalkan aku. Andai aku membebankan.'

me, 2years ago

if

" if you love somebody, let them go

if they return, there were always yours

if they don't, they never were"

-Khalil Gibran

:)

=)

syukurlah ;)

LASKAR PELANGI-NIDJI

Mimpi adalah kunci
Untuk kita menaklukkan dunia
Berlarilah tanpa lelah
Sampai engkau meraihnya

Laskar pelangi
Takkan terikat waktu
Bebaskan mimpimu di angkasa
Warnai bintang di jiwa

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersyukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia

Selamanya...
[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/nidji/laskar_pelangi.html ]
Cinta kepada hidup
Memberikan senyuman abadi
Walau hidup kadang tak adil
Tapi cinta lengkapi kita

Laskar pelangi
Takkan terikat waktu
Jangan berhenti mewarnai
Jutaan mimpi di bumi

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersyukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia

Menarilah dan terus tertawa
Walau dunia tak seindah surga
Bersukurlah pada yang kuasa
Cinta kita di dunia

Selamanya...

Selamanya...

Laskar pelangi
Takkan terikat waktu...

taken from http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/n/nidji/#share

UNIC - Doa Dhuha

i just like this

may u do

let smile

for rahmat Allah gives us today

nyawa dan nafas

alhamdulillah

=)

Kurnia Kasih Illahi

Ya Rabbi

indahnya peluang kedua

indahnya

indahnya

anugerahkan daku nikmat ini

.Ya Illahi.

hijab

taken from http://waitwhat.edublogs.org/2011/04/20/habit-v-hijab/

bleeding lips

taken somewhere in Google

(yep, that's not my lips ;p)

my lips are bleeding. when i woke up today, i found blood clot on my upper lip. it sounds mass is it? but its not. not like in the picture, it exaggerates. eheheh. but, yeah, i do feel some pain and the creepiness of having drops of blood flowing on my lips when i smile.

smile

O Allah, i love to smile! as i less like to talk, i find that smile is the one of way that gets me connected to people. i feel the pleasure of loving others by smiling.

smiling is an act of charity. it is a Sadaqah..

Sometimes, it is only when something or someone is taken back, we realize how important it/he/she is. do appreciate.

i get my lesson today.;) Alhamdulillah.

labah-labah

taken from http://aubiebear620.deviantart.com/#/d1jwt04

(bukan gambar sebenar)

last night, before we started performing maghrib prayer, i saw this little spider, tried to climb up the wall. So i let it be as i though it will surely succeed in doing that. Yeah, u know that, it is a spider.

but, after a while, i realized that it couldn't make it. i don't know whether it is hurt or just special or being different species of spider whom can't climb, but what really captures me is its effort. plain effort.

no matter how many times it tried, as far as it could go was only 1/6 of wall's height. and from maghrib prayers until we finished the tarawikh prayer, it was still there. trying. trying and trying. i bet it is more than 1000 tries that Thomas Edison could afford to bear. and there was not even a glimpse of success. but there it was. no giving up.

then, i just start thinking of my mistakes and sins that i did. everytime i tried to repent, i found myself turning to the mistake again, and again. until, at that moment, i felt like giving up to repent. what for doing it? if i keep doing the same sin, Allah must be extremely fed up with me. HE must hate me so much, i can do nothing. i had tried. but then i figure it out. from this little spider.

"Katakanlah "wahai hamba-hamba-Ku yg melampau batas terhadap diri sendiri! Janganlah kamu berputus asa dr rahmat Allah. Sesungguhnya Allah mengampuni dosa-dosa semuanya. Sungguh, Dialah Yang Maha Pengampun, Maha Penyayang."

Az-Zumar:53

Astaghfirullah Hal-'azim. May Allah forgive me. May this Ramadhan is a head-start for me. a new life.

=)

adab 1: makan bila diberi, ramah terhdp kaum sejenis

Rasulullah bersabda

"Termasuk sifat angkuh adalah seseorang yg masuk ke dalam rumah temannya, lalu disuguhkan kepadanya makanan, ia tidak mahu memakannya; dan seorang laki-laki yg bersama-sama laki-laki lain dalam perjalanan, tetapi ia tidak menanyakan namanya dan nama org tuanya"

(HR. Ad-Dailami)

patutlah mak selalu suruh makan kalau tuan rumah hidang makanan. =.=. dh bloated nk muntah pon mak suruh rasa, hargai usaha org hidangkan makanan. mak juga pesan supaya ramah-ramah juga dgn org wlaupun anak die ni, susah betoooool nak buka mulut. rupanya pesan Rasulullah.

thank you my mother. ;)

T,T

i'm the one who did wrong

it's me

that talent

i'm no good at all

T.T

good night. May Allah, the only one who love me.

no more. ;)

Rezeki ;)

taken from http://norapurplebridez.blogspot.com/ & http://asmalina87.blogspot.com/

thanks for the reminder muslimah(s) ;)

.May Allah reward u.

.Allah.

way to help introvert ;)

Being born as an introvert person, i admit myself have difficulty to socialize with new people especially. i hate to be hypocrite yet i know i need to say something to help people feel comfortable to me. plus, with my career as a teacher or educator, i know, it is vital to develop my communication skill which left me numb...until i found this article that i think the best one to help introvert people like me! ;)!

here! how to overcome your biggest fear introvertist! hahah!

hope i can practice with this! insyaAllah!

sakit hati?

is there any moment you are feeling fatal heart-ache?

when what you dream of is to curse the people responsible?

when the satan starts to tell you not to forgive them?

as they took your heart for granted and do whatever they like to you?

.STOP. SIT. THINK.

mungkin nyawa kita takkan cukup panjang utk simpan dendam sampai esok

dan nanti Allah pertanyakan apa yg kita dendamkan mampukah kita menjwb

"sebab dia makan nasi aku semalam" -.-

dan kita adalah penyebab mereka masuk ke neraka

dan andai, nyawa mereka tidak cukup panjang untuk kita dendamkan smpai esok

tidakkah kita rasa bersalah berdendam?

apabila anda berdendam, anda menggali dua lubang kubur. satu utk mrk, satu utk anda.

Confucius once said that i think

and the ultimate one: if you want to be forgiven by Allah, why don't you forgive other? ;)

the story

.hey, i'm in assignment riddle.

huuuhuhuuu

it's raining heavily today. predicted for this whole week

i'm listening to lagu isteri solehah, sang by Saff One

my memory comes to a short story written by my sister when she was in secondary school

about a wife, being betrayed by her husband

who she sacrifices everything to allow him continues his study abroad

and the day of his husband's graduation, suppose to be, she receives the confession she was

betrayed, to the life his husband had succumbed to, one-night stand luscious sinful moment,

which Allah punishes him for HIV and failure in completing his master

and a present of pregnancy for her a week after the confession

.this.

lost. regret. anger. stupidity. worry

allow her to be stored in her confusion, lost in her life, betrayed by the loved one

she runs away without being sinful wife

she doesn't ask for 'talak'

she doesn't want to, even she might have the right

the born of twin little precious creatures free from HIV is such a bless

has made her life shines back

she continues her life, without his apologize or his responsibility accompany her

until one day

his husband knocks her door, asking for his right to be with her

and

.she forgives and permits.

would i be able to do that if i am the one? i don't have even the guts to answer.

sis, u should stop being an optometrist as you can produce that story at that very age. ;)

in sudden

in sudden, to-morning, i still awake

in sudden? x delah, as 3000 essay of assessment still waiting for me ~.~

in sudden, baca blog2 org teringt blog sendiri

in sudden, i read all the laaaameee and nostalgic drafts bout feelings, life and thoughts that i'm not even going to post it

in sudden, i realize, i had grew differently from who i was

.far too different.

May Allah forgive me for all the wrong-doings. Allah, thanks for whatever You had given me.

I know, i give you less yet i received TOO MUCH.

.im sorry Allah.

Life-shared Family Discussion (LsFD)

it is a family thing-we have it usually once a week.

a place to remind me

a moment of reflection

i say it out loud, it need it as my survivor

today, a member told us a stories about an abid who always said

"kami tak tahu ini rahmat atau musibah, tetapi kami bersangka baik pada Allah"

it's tough to do right? it goes same to me -.-

Priscilla Ahn - When You Grow Up

When You Grow up

When you were young enough
Doing all that fun kid stuff
Did you think of what you'd be?

Marco polo in the pool
Kickball games behind the school
Playing tag and hide 'n seek

When you grow up, what kind of boy will you be?
Oh, what will you be?

Drawing pictures with some chalk
Raindrops wash it from the walk
Summer days it never ends

Spin the bottle on the ground
Watch it turning round and round
Maybe he will be my friend

When you grow up, what kind of girl will you be?
Oh, what will you be?

Will you write a book or invent a machine?
Will you be an astronaut or will you sail the sea?

(What will I be when I grow up?) La la, la la, la la, la la
(What will I be when I grow up?) La la, la la, la la, la la la la
(What will I be when I grow up?) La la, la la, la la, la la
(What will I be when I grow up?) La la, la la, la la, la

When you grow up, what kind of person will you be?
Oh the things you'll be happy

-taken from http://www.songmeanings.net/songs/view/3530822107858863417/

i ever dreamed to be doctor, scientist, and yeah, architect is the most achievable, long and desired one. money, future, DREAM, wealth, fame, famous, INTEREST. but getting much older, much matured i would say, i just want to be happy with blessing from ABOVE. ;)

~sy mahu jadi Adam~

ya Rabb

YA RABB

.saya bukan insan yg besyukur, bukan hamba Allah yg baik, sy belum lg solehah.

sy fahami maksudnya, sy fahami likunya, sy fahami rentaknya

.jiwa sy makin jauh, hati ini makin hilang rasionalnya, iman ku sudah bocor barangkali.

segalanya makin 'jauh'

.sukar utk kembali.

bagaimana?

happy

assalamualaikum!!!

;)

:}

;]

.i'm pretty happy for this week.

i did my micro teaching lesson and i learn new thing.

i did meet someone and establish new relationship.

i did present something 'heavy' and hold the responsibility.

i did my reflection and finish my 35% EDUC393 assignment.

i pray for the best. may Allah keep blessing me. ;)

a mistake

assalamualaikum!

i did a mistake today...
and i can't correct it because its my own decision. and it relates to human's feelings and hopes.

i did a mistake today...
and hurt someone's feeling so deeeply.

i did a mistake today...
and it might ruin the whole life of that peson.

i did a mistake today...
and i start thinking i start taking person's love and effort for granted without realizing it.

i did a mistake today...
and i start wondering why im always seeking the love of person whom i dont know willing to love me and replace that with total care given person loving me most.

i did a mistake today...
and asking.

will that person forgive me and treat me the same way as the heart did before?
if accidently someone comes acrross my blog, i want to say:

'i'm truly sorry. i won't do it again in future'

new sem~ekekeeke~

assalamualaikum!!
hey2! i just came back from Malaysia about a week ago~ i chose not to stay here eventhough Malaysia government only sent us for 2 years thats not the reason for me to get darker under the degree of 42 celcius or 107.6 Fahrenheit in Sydney..a big No..No..NO~

huhuhu, the orientation week has started, with juniors coming along, im standing again with new hope and targets, new do'a, new person~ehehehe, new aims i would say. I am a big girl now, or a big woman? I am an adult. 22 years of living and breathing. i need to prepare myself to bear huge responsibilities, to listen and hold the pressure with smile, to make this fantasy becomes real reality, insyaAllah!...i have a family to take care of..mak abah, my dearies and loved ones too..=)

im hoping this sem would be a blast for me. before im going back to Malaysia at the end of this year. let's start it with basmalah..

..bismillahirrahmanirrahim..