Alhamdulillah 'Ala Kulli Haal

Alhamdulillah 'Ala Kulli Haal

katanya this phrase should be said when we receive bad news only

i like to have it whether it is good and bad

because i know 

every bad things that i perceive, there is a good thing behind it

every good things i have, surely there is a challenge i need to face

and i want my heart to know

whatever it is

it is what we call dunya

a place of challenge and tribulation

there are no eternity here

this news is the good one

surely

but it is going to be the tough one

surely

may Allah bless me

May Allah bless abi, umi and Zayd to receive new people in our family

May He provide us with energy and patience to handle and cope everything 

in good and gentle manner and attitude

:)

cita-cita

Saya tahu

perempuan yang sangat solehah

mampu membangunkan rumahtangga dan anak-anak dengan baik

dan dalam kes ini

dalam masyarakat, 

perempuan sesuai sebagai surirumah

saya tahu mungkin itu yang terbaik

tapi untuk diri saya

saya punya impian

saya mahu jadi seseorang yang penting dalam bidang pendidikan

because education is a process where people can be a better human

and i strongly believe it is essential to mould a good muslim

i have my degree and pathway that not everyone has it

:')

i want to change these ridiculous system and policies

i want to change this absurd mindset

i want to kick people who are selfish

but somewhere my 'kudrat' is not enough

and i pray to Allah 

He will show me my way

:)

Perempuan

Lately ni, i have a feeling

perhaps because of the story i was fed,

by the media and also reality.

penatnya jadi perempuan.

salah kena, tak salah pun kena

listened to the story where she was raped, tortured and killed because she refused to have sex

listened to the story where she was hit because her husband was tired and children were crying

listened to the story where her husband forbade her to meet her family and locked her

listened to the story where all the responsibility of bearing children were put solely on mother's shoulder because that's the nature of woman: to bear children

the list goes on, like crazy

what is more crazy? the society blames them. 

the worst? the so-called religious society blames them

'tu la, x nak dengar cakap suami'

'tu la, padan muka kuar rumah sorang-sorang'

'kan dh kata kena sujud kat suami, buat je la'

and i almost scream it out of my lung

no, this is not my religion. My religion is not biased.

deep, inside, i pray to Allah.

no Allah, this is not the case. 

i know you are true and compassion. it is the man that misunderstands your word. help me to understand this.

An-Nisa

especially verse 32 (i favour this one)

there are so much explanation He says about me and you. 

He is so-just that He never underestimates woman. He appreciates us and makes rules to protect and guide us all. 

It was all man-made rules that oppress us.

falsely using His-name.

O Allah, have mercy on us, and help us, and show us ways to save us from the oppressor

*save some time and watch this video about the famous 'ayah' that usually used to oppress woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1azySjz4edk

Aim

it has been a long time

i bid farewell to this blog

temporary farewell

bhaha

ntahlah maybe sebab banyak benda berlaku

laptop rosak

kerja tak habis

Zayd sakit

Amir plan nak smbg master but then tangguh

Then, last night we had serious discussion bout it

apa yang kita nak cari sebenarnya dalam hidup ni ya?

kita nak amek master just because everyone is doing it? nak people regard us as educated? nak naik pangkat cepat?

if the uni is far, then we spend thousand hours, money, energy and life on road

or do we do it for the sake of getting more knowledge? to have better influence in society to preach Islam?

but if that so,

we should not neglect the responsibility to our children, wife, parents isn't? we should spent time playing, talking, visit, help them. Do we have the time and energy to do so? Will we do it with good emotion? or will we make them feel like they are burden?

if that so,

we should still able to pray in masjid, 5 times a day. we should able to go to majlis ilm. at least one a week. we should able to go out and meet our neighbour. at least twice a week.

hemmmmmmmm

memang la menuntut ilmu tu jihad

tapi

kalau hari tu dah lambat g kelas, sembahyang zuhur kocoh-kocoh, pandu laju gila membahayakan orang lain, pastuh excident, mati.

hemmmmmm. jihad x eh? 

-.-

things to ponder and tajdid niat

al-mulk:2

A little toy that brings joy

Zayd has a little toy

A robocar poli car

which can transform into a robot

u know, how expensive toys nowaday,

we bought him the fake one RM15=.=

sorry Zayd, i'm a cheapskate. bhahah

so, the flaw is its parts are easily 'tertanggal' from its 'soket'

bila nak transform tu tak smooth langsung la kan

asyik tertanggal je

gerakkan sikit, tertanggal.

ganas sikit tertanggal.

but Zayd is really into that toy

so, dia akan main sepanjang mlm with it, 

so bila tertanggal tu,

dia akan bawa semua parts kecik-kecik tu

and go to me

'ma,ma'

and request me to 'pasangkan semula'

in a night, it can be counted more than 10 attempts i will do that dirty job

:p

and it's the most 'bahagia' feeling i ever have

because i am his hero~

and i

will surely treasure this moment 

when he grows up and needs me no more

to help him fixing his toy

:')

kipidap ;p

lately ni rasa penat sangat

hal kerja yang non-stop

yeah, hubby and i kerja tempat sama

so basically kitaorg mmg bincang dan bt kerja sampai nak tido

i pity Zayd T.T

sapa kata kerja jd cg senang sangat,

*meh aku cucuk mata dia dgn garfu

hal mum, nenek, uncles

hal mistik

yang affect my body

i am not well

hubby exhausted and sick

entahlah

harini TERbaca blog my friend, Ukhti N

gosh, dah jauhnya i pergi

betul sebenarnya, masa kita single la, komitmen kita tak byk sebenarnya

masa tu la sebenarnya nak all out utk Allah

untuk parents especially

bila dah kawin

ada anak ada suami ada komitmen

it's tiring sebab kadang-kadang kita rasa kita buat untuk orang lain

sebenarnya silap

saat kita buat untuk orang lain dgn rasa sgt 'sacrifice' tu la

sebenarnya bertuah sangat kalau kita niatkan

untuk 'Allah'

Kamu tidak berada di dalam satu keadaan dan tidak membaca satu ayat dari Al-Quran dan kamu tidak mengerjakan suatu pekerjaan, melainkan Kami menjadi saksi atasmu di waktu kamu melakukannya. Tidak luput dari pengetahuan Tuhanmu biarpun sebesar zarah (atom) di bumi ataupun langit. Tidak ada yang lebih kecil dan tidak (pula) yang lebih besar dari itu, melainkan (semua tercatat) dalam kitab yang nyata (Luh Mahfuz).

(Surah Yunus: 61)

*thanks Ukhti N

kipidap,dongibap

ToT

*meleleh air mata MissLoke tau

abah

i realized i didn't write anything

about abah

abah had passed away

suddenly 

this January

____________________________

it was terrible and depressing moment for me

for most of us

especially for mum

it's kinda weird that i don't write it down

because yeah, 

this is a sad blog,

mind you.

i realize too much drama behind it

perhaps i don't know how to write it down

perhaps i don't know where to begin

whatever it it

 I swear by Allah's name,

Allah has given me the best 'Abah' i could ask for,

Abah has given me my 'haq' as his daughter

May whatever abah had done for me, 

the efforts of guiding me, protect me, loving me, raising me up

May it become his protector from the hell fire

Ameen.