jangan.maju.ubah

jangan pandang ke belakang lagi. jangan. maju ke hadapan.

.anda mampu mengubahnya.

things

hahahah. ada 3 benda bermain dlm kepala sy.

-tipu? x tipu? x tahu? mcm akma ckp pada sy, susah nak tahu. serahkan pada Allah sahaja. Kalau dia tipu sy, dia berdosa dgn Allah. ikut kata hati sy kalau sy percaya. serahkan segalanya. doa. dan doa.

-sy mahu tahu dimensi anda2 semua. tolong. sy merayu. ckplah dgn sy. sy mahu tahu apa yg anda2 fikirkan. maaf mungkin selama ini sy teramat mahu anda2 memahami sy. mungkin sy tak habis mencuba memahami apa yg anda2 rasakan dan apa yg anda lihat. marilah, sy terbuka. sy memohon..

-sy juga penat. sy mahu berhenti dgn semua ini. sgt mahu berhenti. hidup sy agak tunggang langgang. Sydney was never a good start for me. sy hanya mahu bergembira dgn semua rakan2 sy. belajar. gembira, dan belajar. score perfect mark. itu shj.

my bad.

lastly, i discover my huge weakness. hahha: think too much. think things i shouldn't. think negatively.

x tahu nak overcome mcmmana. think positively. yeah! i try. try and try. dh penat2 positive, would end as negative lg. herk?? im just out of control of this.

mudah sgt terasa. mudah sgt berprasangka. padahal entah ye ntah x org lain fikir mcm 2 juga~

apehallah kamoo neh 'atiqah????

genius=educator=teacher

"Genius is about changing something complicated into simple"

John C Maxwell

.we are the genius, we are the educator, we are the teacher.

=)

insyaAllah.

insyaAllah.

ukhwah itu bukan terjadi dlm sekelip mata. jauh lg sekadar satu atau dua pertemuan. ada turun naik. ada benci. ada ragu. tapi kasih juga bt kami faham. buat kami saling memahami. segalanya harus demi Allah. love u lillah. seorang teman pernah memberi kata2 itu buat saya. untuk saya kuat ketika sy gugah. seorang rakan yg sy amat cintai.

ada ketika ketawa, ada ketika menangis

ada ketika disuka, ada ketika dibenci

ada ketika senang, ada ketika sukar

segalanya hanya ujian dr Allah bt sy. bt semua. mohon kita saling mengingatkan.

lagikan Asiyah wanita terbaik sepanjang zaman, bersuamikan insan paling kejam. hidup penuh sengsara mungkin tanpa sebaris senyum suka tapi ingatlah pengakhirannya adalah yg terbaik. usah berduka atas ujian. sungguh. Allah lebih mengetahui.

setiap orang diuji dgn cara berbeza. dgn jalan yg berlainan. Allah hanya menguji sesuai dgn kesanggupan insan tersebut.

tiap manusia punya jalur dan warna tertentu.

jalur saya mungkin merah darah, siapa tahu jalur anda biru cerah?? =)

notes:
*thanks to syamim. thanks for the novel. insyaAllah, sy igt smpai mati. kerana betapa sy suka dan bersyukur dgn hadiah itu. peneman jiwa sy.
*thanks to kak nad. seriously, best pengisian mlm td!
*thanks to rakan. anda tahu anda siapa. i really do appreciate u, girl.
*its just a reminder for me too. for me. byk khilaf. maaf. moga yg terbaik buat kita semua.

action speaks louder than word

.this post is dedicated for myself.

MYself

mySELF

action speaks louder than word, 'atiqah

.make sure u do before u talk.

do first

think before u do anything

im nothing.

im nothing. not as that good. not as that clever. not as that pretty. not as that polite. not as that obedient. not as that people. everything is not me. im just nothing.

no.no.no. im not sad or frustrated or blaming myself. there's no such thing. im happy now. it's just a feeling that im good for nothing. and im glad to make that decision. hope he would get someone better. really. =)

im still here, trying my best. eventhough some people might not see it. but never mind, im just nothing to think about. im satisfied with myself. just trying to be better version of myself. =)

should be doing work 4 psycho tute tomorrow rather than thinking this crap~~

@_@

awehe~assalamualaikum.

masalah dalaman. i can understand u. totally. i bet it is self-confidence. kata Jenny. dr.Jenny Barr okeh.huhu. tp dia mcm kawan je, otai2 pun x pe, its not Malaysia~haha.masalah pertuturan yg saya alami semakin kronik dan berkonflik. dlm tute especially, membuatkn sy semakin terdiam terpaku terpilu. T.T~ hue~apesal org x faham2 aku ckp?? nak sebut aaa ke ae for A??? A.T.I.Q okeh or attic or some kind of atticus dlm mockingbird?or attic the loteng?aha..

the first trip to city (sydney)
tika and i was enjoying our first halal pizza there which was shared due to lack of money. 3aud for a piece. 3x3=rm9..wuuu~. okeh dan sesuatu tragedi februari berlaku: seorang pakcik terlepas parrot kesayangan dia. parrot 2 x mahu balik dan melepak atas pokok yg tinggi sambil dgn sombong menyanyi2. kesian pakcik 2 mcm org gila bernyanyi berpeluh2 memujuk parrot. during watching the show, ktorg terborak2 dgn seseorang. borak2 kosong je beramah mesra dan tahulah kami dia(pakcik okeh. ktorg x niat nak usha atau ngorat pon for fyi) ex-student university of sydney tp dah keje skrg. tetba dia ckp
"guys, your english are very good. both of you. truly amazing." hek??? mase 2 nak bt style Malaysian actually 'eh2, x lah teruk je ktorg py bi neh' but as we are in Ozy now, we ended up as 'oh, really? thanks!' tp dlm hati dh mcm2~~tika was grining to me at that time~~

yesterday, we went to city again!!! as we (akma, tika and i) went there membuta tuli tanpa panduan sesiapa pun yg tahu selok belok Sydney, we took turn to ask people around about places and direction. sampailah di satu traffic light, we were totally lost. sambil pegang2 map, sy berkata kepada tika dan akma 'meh aku tengok2 org muka ramah sikit baru boleh ty~' di dlm kumpulan org yg ramai itu.wehehe..kalo kutuk depan2 pon blh, best seyh~x yah nak ngumpat2. anda ckp bhs rahsia. tetba ada pakcik dtg mendekati sy:

uncle: hi! u need help?
comel: aha~yes! hahah, how do u know?
uncle: from the way u looking the people and holding the map. hahah!
comel: cheh!! we are bla...bla..bla...
uncle: yeah? hahha..bla...bla...bla...
uncle: u said that it is the first time you come here isnt?
comel: yeah~before this we just stay in malaysia. haha. bajet ko kaya la nak berjln2 tgk negara org je? it is the 1st time we come to another country. we just arrived around 3 weeks ago.
uncle: i wonder how can u speak english as this good?
comel: hek??? errr.. biar betol pakcik neh???? im having difficulties in my tute okeh~ sambil buat muka comel dan senyum lebar-lebar.

dalam hati masa itu. pakcik! don't pulling my leg okeh! tak yah la sindir saya..sodih botul nehha! teringat miss loke ckp mase ade michael radder btol ke eja die?dtg tuh! he is just being nice to all of u. hahah.T.T..okeh self-confidence ke mmg real sy ckp omputih hampeh sangat neh???? @_@pening~

miss them.

pujukan buat diri

kenapa hidup amat sukar? sy cuba berpositif. sgt2 mencuba. tapi segalanya bagai datang tanpa penghujung. sy sgt x nampak jalan keluar. sy sgt penat. sy sgt letih. sy sgt2 celaru.

jangan pernah fikir anda seorang shj yg susah. jangan pernah terlintas anda seorang shj yg sedih. jangan-jangan pernah cakap anda org yg malang, mengapa nasib x memihak pada anda. jangan pernah mencaci diri sendiri atas apa yg berlaku. jangan pernah menyalahkan sesiapa. jangan pernah menyibukkan diri tentang hal manusia lain andai niat anda tidak betul..jangan. jangan. jangan 'atiqah. jangan jadi seperti itu. jangan jadi insan-insan yg anda tidak suka. jangan 'atiqah. peringatan keras bt diri.

jangan jadi insan yg tak redha pada ketentuan Illahi. Allah hanya akan memberi sesuatu yg mampu digalas bukan membebani.

"apabila kamu merasa letih kerana berbuat kebaikan maka sesungguhnya keletihan itu akan hilang dan kebaikan itu akan terus kekal. Dan sekiranya kamu berseronok dgn dosa maka sesungguhnya keseronokkan itu akan hilang dan dosa dilakukan akan terus kekal..." saidina Ali r.a

"...org yg menzalimi diri sendiri ialah mereka yg tunduk dan patuh pada mereka yg tak menghormatinya, mengharapkan kemanisan pada sesuatu yg tak memberi manfaat kepadanya dan menerima pujian dprd mereka yg tidak dikenalinya" imam Syafie r.a

pujukan buat diri.

im trying my best

i've made the decision days ago.

and i'm trying my very3 best to have my normal life back.

for right now, it looks succeed. still in progress. i'm so relief having my own life back. would never turn back. never ever. to be back in this position really demands me 110% hard work. feelings, effort, tears and emotional state that might interrupt my studies here.

i don't want to make anyone sad or frustrated. i'm belong to my family's hope, wish and expectation. i owe my friends' happiness. so, i'm running to get it back. if u hate me of any of these reasons,it means u hate me. it's just me.

i'm taking back everything. i just want my life back and as long it doesn't go in the wrong path, i ll stay with it. insya-Allah. =)