1st Ramadhan

today is my first Ramadhan with hubby

my first Ramadhan as a wife

:)

and i am not really well actually

melepek kat katil dr mlm td

and hubby did almost everything

he sahur by himself as I was really incapable to wake up

he washed and hanged the clothes sebanyak 2 baldi besau

T.T

O Allah, May you bless him and love him, guide him and care for him

as much as he tries to love and comfort me

he has tried to be the best husband as Rasulullah asked

and i solely hope i can become more solehah for him

=)

thinking

when I went to this class of mine this morning and started teaching literature

"Anansi and the Turtle"

when I asked them

"If you were the Turtle in that story, what would you do? Just imagine.."

and I found all the students were flipping through the textbook

-.-

when I wrote on the blackboard

"People who do not do their work and keep talking"

and listed few names

a student raised his hand and asked me

"Teacher, copy that eh?"

-.-''

perhaps, teaching based on textbook BLINDLY without knowing our students does harm our generation

and I hope I won't be the one who relies solely on that, in future

thinking how can I help them to do some thinking

WORK HARD PRAY HARD

insyaAllah

1st day: choral speaking

Exhausted. Tiring. It is our first day. Lots had happened. and the lost of energy? nothing to say, school has drained us out.

come to school, meet the headmaster(GB), GPK koko, GPK 1, receive timetable, rearrange our portfolio, consult the teachers that we 'steal' their time, enter 6X, teach them choral speaking (which actually just listen to them as they love to shout and they can't listen my voice T.T, need to use had-clapping strategy), screaming, get their attention, showing fierce face, do some house-keeping things, go back to IPG.

solat, fall asleep at surau for a few minutes, go to lang. department, meet supervisor, rearrange folio again, then problem arise 

"hey, we can't teach year 2 cause they use KSSR..we are not permissible to do so.."

"why?"

"we didn't attend the 5-days course for it"

"when did they tell us about that?"

"that day la, dewan kuliah baru's talk"

"ohhhhhhh" T.T

meet supervisor again. she didn't know about that. call the GPK, get scolded, with cold voice, bad, then drive car to photocopy some things, meet friends about it, ask again, they are not sure, go upstairs to unit prac., close oh my prac!, call them, no one answer, stress.

go to release stress, eat at halalan toyyiba, there the cockroach, streesssss. go back :D at least we get to eat delicious food as for the whole-day suffering.

joking. tomorrow, will be continued..

professional development

this is supposed to be written yesterday, a day before the practicum start. but never mind, as long as the work done ;p

This practicum is the first and last for us, the students of B.Ed (TESOL-Macquarie) program and for sure, I am terrified and overwhelmed at the same time. My mind lingers with too many questions which make me dizzy where to begin. However, some most prominent is asking myself of what good teacher is, the behaviour of a teacher, the judgement every teacher made in their teaching, the rationale thinking lies behind every act, and the ultimate question is, how? how? how? how can we do that? am I able to be like that? As the worry gets me nothing, I tried to search for clues and information about the school I get and talking to more experiential people in this field for some tips and advise.


My school, XXX, is a boy-school where most of trainee teachers who went there claimed the students were naughty and hard to be controlled. They asked me to be as vigilant as I could, to avoid any problem arises. Some also said that the headmaster was quite fierce and tough. The others said the teachers were not really helpful. Honestly I am extremely scared to face all of these, but it is not fair to judge them without even knowing them and just listen to Tom, Dick and Harry's saying. So, I decided to suspend my judgement, prepare myself to face any situation and to expect for the worst.


I read through few notes and keep my mind positive towards this teaching experience. I recall all of super-enthusiastic teachers and lecturers and remind myself of each advise they gave me. Jean Brick, one of my lecturer there, who does always show her utmost positive attitude and high interest in her teaching, caused us to feel and treasure such a condusive and lovable environment for learning. Mdm. Mariah, the one that shares her inspiring stories of teaching the young hearts and teach us to see things and hurtful memory from different angle and perspective of life. I believe that these people are the one who made and mould human being. and I, simply want to be one of those. 


I pray hard to God to enlighten my heart and my students' heart to keep learning and improving. To help us keep moving and help each other. To appreciate and love one another. To allow me to fulfil my duty as what the generation needs. God, show me the way, and I promise to myself to work hard as best as I could. Insya-Allah.   

what will i pray for?

sometimes, i am in the middle of moment,

where i can't think of what to ask from Allah

good job? calm life? money? family? health?

i seriously could not think of any, as what i asked before, 

which i think was the best for me, 

did not seem one

inability to decide and choose

as a human, that is my restriction

I ask Allah to give the best for me

whatever it is, whenever it should

"He knows all that is before them and all that is behind them, but they

 cannot compass it with their knowledge"

Taha:110

i should not ask Allah to lighten my burden yet to pray Him to grant me stronger iman

:)

i'm going to school

hey, 

next monday, i'm going to school

i admit i am afraid, a little nervous

i heard many stories and advises from seniors and lecturers

it sounds scary

pfttttt

Ya Rabbi, show me some compassion and help me along the way 

to be honest,

i am not really good in this language though, i don't think i can bare with the expectation that you set for me, i am sorry if i am not up to what you want.

but please, listen to me and believe me that i am doing my very best, with all strength and passion i have inside me, to educate you, my students, to help you becoming better human being not only false-alarm grammar machine.

if i do mistake, correct me. if you do mistake, i help you.

this learning is not only about you, it is about me too

let's improve. i hope Allah will help all of us, the teachers, the students and the parent & society to be better

ameeeen

p/s: i hope i don't sound like a year 1 little girl or a kindie going to school. :)