the experience

they*blogs that i read ;p say that i  should write down my experience for being a first-timer 

but honestly

i ve no time

rph, buku budak (33x5)*ni yang tiap muka surat salah eja tarikh-sehari kalau aku ade 2 mukasurat, ko darab je la sendiri, sibuk sgt tulis data murid yg aku tak faham knapa kena tulis byk kali x blh fotos je tiap kali orang yg berlainan minta =.=, plus baaanyaaak typing lols ape2 yg 'dia' nak lah, panitia thingy, plus key-in all the data in the system.

actually aku mmg suka mengajar

i love kids, i love educating them, 

about the rph and buku budak, no sweat.

great people like hasan al-banna and abdul majid al-zindani starts their 'work' as school teacher

u know how powerful it is

but i hate 'birokrasi terlebih', non-stop documentation, filing, nak puaskan hati 'org atas'

if you are not in so-called education field, stop your non-sense comment.

get into it, work inside it, just after that, comment and i will respect u.

lol. c. i cant stop talking about school and our edu system.

okehhhhh. back to the business.

dah masuk bulan ke-3

um. the feeling? i try to be patient

whenever i vomit between classes and inside classes, afternoon and evening

whenever i hump my lullaby cry in my sleep just to make myself feeling better

whenever i wake up in the middle of night, having my gastric without any reason

i keep remind myself, 

at last my morning sickness is wayyyyy easier than the mums who experience more painful sickness

mums in Syria, Palestin and Mesir

mums in poverty

mums who has nobody

their situation is worse than me

plus, which rahmat that i should deny?

when Allah gives me what i want most

the miracle and penghapus dosa

for every pain that i feel, Allah had granted me with cleaner-sin-chart.

for every pain that i feel, Allah has granted me rewards that no body can give me

for every pain that i feel, it is equal to jihad

so, be strong bebeh, umi is here for you.

whatever it is :)

jangan manja2 tau, jgn bt somersault nt tau. just be there, enjoy your life, berenang elok2 dlm tu, k bebeh?

:D

empathy

honestly

i always wonder

why does Allah keep repeating the importance of taking care your mother's feeling?

 the verse in Quran where we can't even say 'ah' to them, the Messenger's hadith where he repeated 'mum' thrice on people that should be on our top priority and the story of 'Alqamah and his mother'

yeah, of course i know because of her, 

i am here

she went through the painful morning sickness

she took the hardship carrying us 9 months in her tummy

she delivered us, between life and death

mum who takes care of us

when we were small and sick

she is the one who teaches us about life

she teaches us about Allah and how to love ourself 

she teaches us how to stand for yourself

she teaches us to be good person with good values

she hugs us when we need someone

she gives us advices

she loves us

and the list goes on.

but empathy

is all about feeling it by yourself

just then, you will really know the meaning.

O Allah. Alhamdulillah. Haaza min fadli rabbi. I appreciate my mak and mama better than before.

O Allah. Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir.

O dear, please be His good servant when you get out from mummy's tummy

i'll try my best dear, to fight the stormy weathers and be tough

:)

sincerely and unconditionally,

Atiqah

patience

it has been quiet a while

i mean our marriage

hay, doesn't mean it feels ages for me

but people out there have started thinking or assuming

that we should have a child by now

ummm. let me do the thinking,

a minute

when people were joking bout me and keep teasing bout it,

i admitted that i still could laugh and 'enjoyed' the teasing together with them

but in these few days, 

when it became chronic

i startled and could only return the soft-gooey smile 

which was filled with different feelings in a blink

and i poured that to hubby

and he said

"i'm not sad or feel anything when people asking that,

it's just the matter of Allah's rezqi

but if that does make u sad, it saddens me too" 

and he stopped. for quiet a time. 

i know he does really mean it

 so i do stop the thinking too. the negative one.

i bet his thought is the only thing that i care enough

other than My Allah

;)

i know Allah has decided the best journey for me to be fully-prepared when receiving that little tiny caliph

and that..

.is the test of patience.

;)

wind and love

Love is like wind

It comes and goes with the seasons

In hot day, we demand it like crazy

In cold day, we curse it deep inside

Just remember this

you want it or not,

it is always, always around us

it is just the matter of 'when'

God decided the best time

for it to come 

WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT

our hearts are not ours

so

CHERISH it when it's there

BE PATIENT when it isn't

#pray hard to Allah, may He protect our hearts for things that shouldn't come in

Places

A few days ago,

I saw a fb status one of my friends

Wow! She is in Sydney, having good time with her husband.

I was so jealous of her and told hubby

"syoknya if we can go for holiday in Sydney kan? How lucky she is! I wish we can go to Australia again"

then hubby smiled at me. 

"I think you are luckier than her."

eh? why? I did not go to Sydney. Oh My Dear Sydney.

"You went to Makkah and Madinah. You were His special guest. isn't? Where are the most wonderful places other than that?"

Hubby.

 never ever once fail to make me feeling grateful.

with his just relaxed face. :p

TEMPER

i easily lose my temper whenever i enter these two classes.

duh *-,-

my words may kill all the innocent hearts

(if there is ANY in those classes *nada berbaur sinis)

seeeeee!~~~ i'm more than cynical now. uhhhh. 

how i hated my cynical teacher previously, i have turned to be one now

and hubby *which always being more patient than me* were also having the same prob.

 =.=' & -.-''''

then, i realized
everytime

i did some reading and listening to the tarbiyyah thingy and songs

before i entered the class

i became calmer and less madness had occurred

or else

i just bite my tongue

*REALLY HARD

Effort

there was one night where we were doing the house chores. after the long day at school. i was ironing my baju kurung. he was folding clothes.

me: abang, one day, if i want to be a housewife. i will be one only if you continue your study or working
abroad tau..

abg: eah? why?

me: yela...like when we were there dulu. they had a lot of gadgets and machine and what-so-ever that made house chores were so easy. we had build-in oven, that one that two..blabla..being a housewife is a hard job. the work is endless. after one, there will be another twenty task waiting for you. non-stop. salute to those housewife tau.

abg: oh..ok. boleh je :)...tapi kan..nt you will have less pahala la? kan?

me: oh. yeah T.T okeh.

*note: Allah rewards us for every hardship and effort that we do, not only the accomplishment. orang yang pandai baca Quran, baca elok. dapat pahala. tapi org yg x pandai baca Quran, try baca, dapat double pahala. one for the deed. one for the hardship to do it. :)