Perempuan

Lately ni, i have a feeling

perhaps because of the story i was fed,

by the media and also reality.

penatnya jadi perempuan.

salah kena, tak salah pun kena

listened to the story where she was raped, tortured and killed because she refused to have sex

listened to the story where she was hit because her husband was tired and children were crying

listened to the story where her husband forbade her to meet her family and locked her

listened to the story where all the responsibility of bearing children were put solely on mother's shoulder because that's the nature of woman: to bear children

the list goes on, like crazy

what is more crazy? the society blames them. 

the worst? the so-called religious society blames them

'tu la, x nak dengar cakap suami'

'tu la, padan muka kuar rumah sorang-sorang'

'kan dh kata kena sujud kat suami, buat je la'

and i almost scream it out of my lung

no, this is not my religion. My religion is not biased.

deep, inside, i pray to Allah.

no Allah, this is not the case. 

i know you are true and compassion. it is the man that misunderstands your word. help me to understand this.

An-Nisa

especially verse 32 (i favour this one)

there are so much explanation He says about me and you. 

He is so-just that He never underestimates woman. He appreciates us and makes rules to protect and guide us all. 

It was all man-made rules that oppress us.

falsely using His-name.

O Allah, have mercy on us, and help us, and show us ways to save us from the oppressor

*save some time and watch this video about the famous 'ayah' that usually used to oppress woman

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1azySjz4edk

Aim

it has been a long time

i bid farewell to this blog

temporary farewell

bhaha

ntahlah maybe sebab banyak benda berlaku

laptop rosak

kerja tak habis

Zayd sakit

Amir plan nak smbg master but then tangguh

Then, last night we had serious discussion bout it

apa yang kita nak cari sebenarnya dalam hidup ni ya?

kita nak amek master just because everyone is doing it? nak people regard us as educated? nak naik pangkat cepat?

if the uni is far, then we spend thousand hours, money, energy and life on road

or do we do it for the sake of getting more knowledge? to have better influence in society to preach Islam?

but if that so,

we should not neglect the responsibility to our children, wife, parents isn't? we should spent time playing, talking, visit, help them. Do we have the time and energy to do so? Will we do it with good emotion? or will we make them feel like they are burden?

if that so,

we should still able to pray in masjid, 5 times a day. we should able to go to majlis ilm. at least one a week. we should able to go out and meet our neighbour. at least twice a week.

hemmmmmmmm

memang la menuntut ilmu tu jihad

tapi

kalau hari tu dah lambat g kelas, sembahyang zuhur kocoh-kocoh, pandu laju gila membahayakan orang lain, pastuh excident, mati.

hemmmmmm. jihad x eh? 

-.-

things to ponder and tajdid niat

al-mulk:2

A little toy that brings joy

Zayd has a little toy

A robocar poli car

which can transform into a robot

u know, how expensive toys nowaday,

we bought him the fake one RM15=.=

sorry Zayd, i'm a cheapskate. bhahah

so, the flaw is its parts are easily 'tertanggal' from its 'soket'

bila nak transform tu tak smooth langsung la kan

asyik tertanggal je

gerakkan sikit, tertanggal.

ganas sikit tertanggal.

but Zayd is really into that toy

so, dia akan main sepanjang mlm with it, 

so bila tertanggal tu,

dia akan bawa semua parts kecik-kecik tu

and go to me

'ma,ma'

and request me to 'pasangkan semula'

in a night, it can be counted more than 10 attempts i will do that dirty job

:p

and it's the most 'bahagia' feeling i ever have

because i am his hero~

and i

will surely treasure this moment 

when he grows up and needs me no more

to help him fixing his toy

:')

kipidap ;p

lately ni rasa penat sangat

hal kerja yang non-stop

yeah, hubby and i kerja tempat sama

so basically kitaorg mmg bincang dan bt kerja sampai nak tido

i pity Zayd T.T

sapa kata kerja jd cg senang sangat,

*meh aku cucuk mata dia dgn garfu

hal mum, nenek, uncles

hal mistik

yang affect my body

i am not well

hubby exhausted and sick

entahlah

harini TERbaca blog my friend, Ukhti N

gosh, dah jauhnya i pergi

betul sebenarnya, masa kita single la, komitmen kita tak byk sebenarnya

masa tu la sebenarnya nak all out utk Allah

untuk parents especially

bila dah kawin

ada anak ada suami ada komitmen

it's tiring sebab kadang-kadang kita rasa kita buat untuk orang lain

sebenarnya silap

saat kita buat untuk orang lain dgn rasa sgt 'sacrifice' tu la

sebenarnya bertuah sangat kalau kita niatkan

untuk 'Allah'

Kamu tidak berada di dalam satu keadaan dan tidak membaca satu ayat dari Al-Quran dan kamu tidak mengerjakan suatu pekerjaan, melainkan Kami menjadi saksi atasmu di waktu kamu melakukannya. Tidak luput dari pengetahuan Tuhanmu biarpun sebesar zarah (atom) di bumi ataupun langit. Tidak ada yang lebih kecil dan tidak (pula) yang lebih besar dari itu, melainkan (semua tercatat) dalam kitab yang nyata (Luh Mahfuz).

(Surah Yunus: 61)

*thanks Ukhti N

kipidap,dongibap

ToT

*meleleh air mata MissLoke tau

abah

i realized i didn't write anything

about abah

abah had passed away

suddenly 

this January

____________________________

it was terrible and depressing moment for me

for most of us

especially for mum

it's kinda weird that i don't write it down

because yeah, 

this is a sad blog,

mind you.

i realize too much drama behind it

perhaps i don't know how to write it down

perhaps i don't know where to begin

whatever it it

 I swear by Allah's name,

Allah has given me the best 'Abah' i could ask for,

Abah has given me my 'haq' as his daughter

May whatever abah had done for me, 

the efforts of guiding me, protect me, loving me, raising me up

May it become his protector from the hell fire

Ameen.

mom's time-out

being a first-time mommy

it's quiet handful for me

u know

the little one always needs you

in every way, in every side, in every minute

they cannot breath without you

don't take it negative

it's the way they show how much they love you

but

it's such a relief if you have a great company

who can offer help to take care of your loved one

when you need some time in bathroom, in kitchen, in toilet

it's even better if they allow you 

some me-time

so you can catch up 'yourself'' back

the real you

and help to cast the grumpy and sorrow

you have inside you

o Allah, no wonder it's that high you place the value of a mother,

it's a big sacrifice that they made

for other human being

they sacrifice themselves

The Language in Home

Verbal complaining has become our main medium in expressing dissatisfaction.

Especially when it comes to marriage, between wife and husband.

Don't bluff me by saying 'no, my marriage is just perfect'

Even Rasullulah and Aisha r.a sometimes is having dissatisfaction towards each other.

It is just the matter of how they deal with it. 

They don't spread it to people outside the home

They don't shout at each other

They don't post and correct each other in facebook.

Masuk tahun ke-4 perkahwinan baru saya faham.

Kenapa benar-benar,

Kalau gaduh, perlu kita sorokkan dari pandangan anak-anak

Kalau berasa, harus benar jangan kita luahkan menyindir pada anak-anak

Kalau sedih, harus perlu titis air mata itu jangan negatif pada perspective anak-anak

Kerana perasan atau tidak

Ajaran itu adalah yang pertama dalam membentuk peribadi anak

Kita mengajar mereka tentang bagaimana menghadapi manusia

Expectation, conflict and solution

Jika yang kita ajarkan adalah dengan menghakimi manusia lain pada nilai kita (value system),

Nanti-nanti, maka dia jadi orang yang tidak boleh bertolak ansur dengan kelemahan

Nanti-nanti, yang sempurna hanya dia.

Maka jadinya apa dia nanti?

Jika yang kita ajarkan pada dia, kejamnya kita menghakimi orang yang dia rasa baik,

Nanti-nanti, bagaimana pula 'trust issue'?

Nanti-nanti, percayanya pada yang tersayang tiada, hanya semua insan sekeliling yang kejam

Maka jadinya apa dia nanti?

Jika yang kita ajarkan pada dia, segalanya harus sempurna sebegini rupa,

Nanti-nanti, kalau dia berbuat kesalahan dalam pembelajaran dan kehidupan

Nanti-nanti, mungkin itu juga penyesalan terhadap wujudnya dia

Maka, jadinya apa dia nanti?

Jika yang kita ajarkan pada dia, complaining is the way to solve problem.

Biar benar.

Tepuk otak, dada dan iman kita.

Betul sudahkan kita ini? 

Mungkin saja dia membesar jadi insan bijak yang cemerlang pada pelajaran.

Tetapi, mungkinkah dia..

Doktor yang saban hari membentak orang bawahan dengan kata kesat dan amarah?

Guru yang sering menempelak semua orang sekeliling dan memusnahkan harapan murid?

Arkitek yang mahu membunuh diri kerana gagal mendapatkan projek jutaan ringgit?

Ibu yang mendidik anak yang mengulangi 'cycle' yang sama?

Menambah generasi yang sama?

Yes. It is thinking about thinking.

It is subconscious matter.

It is serious matter.

We may not abuse our children physically but emotionally. Yes. It is still an abuse, mind you.

Mohon, Penderaan ini lebih sukar dikesan, tapi kesannya lebih dalam, lebih panjang.