little things

I will write whatever things I remember about my pregnancy

so bear with me

i have no time to write in my diary

so i ll just pour everything in here

so one day I can tell this little caliph 

bout his little journey in my tummy

:D

i hate honey and dates when i'm not pregnant

i coudn't bear the taste and smell

yet i can consume all of that when i pregnant u

it makes me cry

how sweet Allah has granted you to 'force' me to practise his-sunnah

:')

i love sleeping

just ask my mates, aunt syamim and aunt jen, who once were my roomate

how i can sleep whenever i feel sleepy

yet with you

you wakes me up at 3 or 4 am

asking me to do tahajjud or just having thought of any doa

you make me better abid

to My Lord

and i pray the same for you little boy

may you be the best abid for our Lord

:')

i know i am the one who easily loses my patience

whenever i see little fellas in my class aren't listening to me

you makes me stop and think

what if one day 

Allah tests me by granting me 'you' who behaves just like that

um

you make me 'husnuzon'

and i asks Allah to forgive me 

for any bad intention i have inside my heart

i advise that kid better

and that is one of good manner

and it is you

who help me to do it

:')

and i realize

indeed 

anak adalah ujian

betul

.challenge.

it is meant to challenge us

to improve ourselves to be better

alhamdulillah ala kullihal

baby, i still vomit till now

c u in next 3 months

abi and ummi haven't bought you any clothes yet 

T.T

the baby

baby is growing bigger

alhamdulillah

also healthier

abang says that he has upper lip like me

donald duckling (that was what they called me)

and nose bridge like me

which i know x mancung mcm abg

kekekke

but hey, he is my boyyy

kicking very hard

yeah, i'm 25 weeks pregnant

but the doc in Columbia says

baby looks like 27 weeks

bigger?

i might deliver early

or else, i eat too much T.T

should go for healthy diet, babyyyyy!

;p

:')

the lyrics just speak everything inside my heart

 

the experience

they*blogs that i read ;p say that i  should write down my experience for being a first-timer 

but honestly

i ve no time

rph, buku budak (33x5)*ni yang tiap muka surat salah eja tarikh-sehari kalau aku ade 2 mukasurat, ko darab je la sendiri, sibuk sgt tulis data murid yg aku tak faham knapa kena tulis byk kali x blh fotos je tiap kali orang yg berlainan minta =.=, plus baaanyaaak typing lols ape2 yg 'dia' nak lah, panitia thingy, plus key-in all the data in the system.

actually aku mmg suka mengajar

i love kids, i love educating them, 

about the rph and buku budak, no sweat.

great people like hasan al-banna and abdul majid al-zindani starts their 'work' as school teacher

u know how powerful it is

but i hate 'birokrasi terlebih', non-stop documentation, filing, nak puaskan hati 'org atas'

if you are not in so-called education field, stop your non-sense comment.

get into it, work inside it, just after that, comment and i will respect u.

lol. c. i cant stop talking about school and our edu system.

okehhhhh. back to the business.

dah masuk bulan ke-3

um. the feeling? i try to be patient

whenever i vomit between classes and inside classes, afternoon and evening

whenever i hump my lullaby cry in my sleep just to make myself feeling better

whenever i wake up in the middle of night, having my gastric without any reason

i keep remind myself, 

at last my morning sickness is wayyyyy easier than the mums who experience more painful sickness

mums in Syria, Palestin and Mesir

mums in poverty

mums who has nobody

their situation is worse than me

plus, which rahmat that i should deny?

when Allah gives me what i want most

the miracle and penghapus dosa

for every pain that i feel, Allah had granted me with cleaner-sin-chart.

for every pain that i feel, Allah has granted me rewards that no body can give me

for every pain that i feel, it is equal to jihad

so, be strong bebeh, umi is here for you.

whatever it is :)

jangan manja2 tau, jgn bt somersault nt tau. just be there, enjoy your life, berenang elok2 dlm tu, k bebeh?

:D

empathy

honestly

i always wonder

why does Allah keep repeating the importance of taking care your mother's feeling?

 the verse in Quran where we can't even say 'ah' to them, the Messenger's hadith where he repeated 'mum' thrice on people that should be on our top priority and the story of 'Alqamah and his mother'

yeah, of course i know because of her, 

i am here

she went through the painful morning sickness

she took the hardship carrying us 9 months in her tummy

she delivered us, between life and death

mum who takes care of us

when we were small and sick

she is the one who teaches us about life

she teaches us about Allah and how to love ourself 

she teaches us how to stand for yourself

she teaches us to be good person with good values

she hugs us when we need someone

she gives us advices

she loves us

and the list goes on.

but empathy

is all about feeling it by yourself

just then, you will really know the meaning.

O Allah. Alhamdulillah. Haaza min fadli rabbi. I appreciate my mak and mama better than before.

O Allah. Allahumma yassir wala tu'assir.

O dear, please be His good servant when you get out from mummy's tummy

i'll try my best dear, to fight the stormy weathers and be tough

:)

sincerely and unconditionally,

Atiqah

patience

it has been quiet a while

i mean our marriage

hay, doesn't mean it feels ages for me

but people out there have started thinking or assuming

that we should have a child by now

ummm. let me do the thinking,

a minute

when people were joking bout me and keep teasing bout it,

i admitted that i still could laugh and 'enjoyed' the teasing together with them

but in these few days, 

when it became chronic

i startled and could only return the soft-gooey smile 

which was filled with different feelings in a blink

and i poured that to hubby

and he said

"i'm not sad or feel anything when people asking that,

it's just the matter of Allah's rezqi

but if that does make u sad, it saddens me too" 

and he stopped. for quiet a time. 

i know he does really mean it

 so i do stop the thinking too. the negative one.

i bet his thought is the only thing that i care enough

other than My Allah

;)

i know Allah has decided the best journey for me to be fully-prepared when receiving that little tiny caliph

and that..

.is the test of patience.

;)

wind and love

Love is like wind

It comes and goes with the seasons

In hot day, we demand it like crazy

In cold day, we curse it deep inside

Just remember this

you want it or not,

it is always, always around us

it is just the matter of 'when'

God decided the best time

for it to come 

WE HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT

our hearts are not ours

so

CHERISH it when it's there

BE PATIENT when it isn't

#pray hard to Allah, may He protect our hearts for things that shouldn't come in