penternak lemak :D

it has been some time i did not visit this blog

perhaps i am too busy with my life

as a wife

as a daughter-in-law

as a 'penganggur-terhormat'

terlalu busy tanam anggur lemak, yg tak mampu dituai hasilnya

yeah, i'm become chubbier than what u can imagine

...

.......

.........

and i put some effort in decreasing the percentage of my fat

by finding job

please. please. i really want that job. jd cg sekolah rendah kt sebuah sekolah agama swasta.

pray for me please

*ppd seremban penuh :( x blh msk skolah kerajaan

terrible human being

there are a lot of times i feel i fail as a human being

particularly as a muslim

this heart

is always betraying me

i feel hurt for things that do not harm

i feel stupid for just facing the reality

i feel defeated with the nature's work

i feel tremendously lazy to do my responsibilities

i feel annoy to face and deal with human

i feel wanting to just terribly punch or hurt myself 

there are too much times where i could not consider myself as a normal people

i ask Allah to really help me

because i really know it is all just a FEELING

played by the devil

to manipulate and destroy me

O Rabb, You say that I can ask You to change my heart when i do not feel anything while performing my solah, reciting Al-Quran or just reflecting myself. O ALLAH, PLEASE CHANGE IT RIGHT NOW. i need such a help, guide me, bless me.

baitul warithian's ramadhan

The Ramadhan this year will end in just a few days

and I, am still busy 'practicum-ing'

=.=' sigh

.I miss baitul warithian.

.I miss being there.

Ramadhan = baitul warithian's most glamorous, cherished and precious moments

Ramadhan bersama mereka, 2 tahun menikmati manisnya ibadah bersama, usai solat terawikh kadang-kadang kita duduk menyantuni isi hati, menyantapi pengisian rohani, tiap solat kita mengejar masa menyelit untuk bersama, tadarus di dalam ruang kekangan masa, kadang-kadang lewat malam kita bangun, mengejut yang lain untuk mengejar syurga-Nya.

Ada waktu, buka kita hanya teguk air di perjalanan pulang kelas, ada peluang, kita  bersyukur nikmat kebab di musolla, ada ruang, kita gembira bersama di rumah, memasak dan berbuka, dengan apa adanya yg kita punya. Ada tika, kita melangkah pulang malam, bertanya pada Illahi, rahmat yang manakah milik kita bulan ini?

Terima kasih, cuma itu yang mampu aku ucapkan. kalian benar-benar mengajar aku seribu hikmah. bahawa Ramadhan itu tentang isinya, bukan tentang bulan atau pengakhir saja. Ramadhan itu tentang bersaing. dengan diri dan nafsu, untuk menjadi yg terbaik bt Illahi.

Kalian, doakan aku moga tsabat. doakan aku moga kuat. moga hilangnya kalian nt, tidak bererti hilangnya manis iman dalan jiwa ini. benar. kalian yang terindah buat diri.

salam sayang, lillahita'ala.

buat Nurul 'Atiqah, Norakmar Syazni, Syamim, Razaini, Hanisa, Nurizwah

moga Allah kan pertemukan kita dengan insan-insan yang lebih menyintai-Nya kelak.

1st Ramadhan

today is my first Ramadhan with hubby

my first Ramadhan as a wife

:)

and i am not really well actually

melepek kat katil dr mlm td

and hubby did almost everything

he sahur by himself as I was really incapable to wake up

he washed and hanged the clothes sebanyak 2 baldi besau

T.T

O Allah, May you bless him and love him, guide him and care for him

as much as he tries to love and comfort me

he has tried to be the best husband as Rasulullah asked

and i solely hope i can become more solehah for him

=)

thinking

when I went to this class of mine this morning and started teaching literature

"Anansi and the Turtle"

when I asked them

"If you were the Turtle in that story, what would you do? Just imagine.."

and I found all the students were flipping through the textbook

-.-

when I wrote on the blackboard

"People who do not do their work and keep talking"

and listed few names

a student raised his hand and asked me

"Teacher, copy that eh?"

-.-''

perhaps, teaching based on textbook BLINDLY without knowing our students does harm our generation

and I hope I won't be the one who relies solely on that, in future

thinking how can I help them to do some thinking

WORK HARD PRAY HARD

insyaAllah

1st day: choral speaking

Exhausted. Tiring. It is our first day. Lots had happened. and the lost of energy? nothing to say, school has drained us out.

come to school, meet the headmaster(GB), GPK koko, GPK 1, receive timetable, rearrange our portfolio, consult the teachers that we 'steal' their time, enter 6X, teach them choral speaking (which actually just listen to them as they love to shout and they can't listen my voice T.T, need to use had-clapping strategy), screaming, get their attention, showing fierce face, do some house-keeping things, go back to IPG.

solat, fall asleep at surau for a few minutes, go to lang. department, meet supervisor, rearrange folio again, then problem arise 

"hey, we can't teach year 2 cause they use KSSR..we are not permissible to do so.."

"why?"

"we didn't attend the 5-days course for it"

"when did they tell us about that?"

"that day la, dewan kuliah baru's talk"

"ohhhhhhh" T.T

meet supervisor again. she didn't know about that. call the GPK, get scolded, with cold voice, bad, then drive car to photocopy some things, meet friends about it, ask again, they are not sure, go upstairs to unit prac., close oh my prac!, call them, no one answer, stress.

go to release stress, eat at halalan toyyiba, there the cockroach, streesssss. go back :D at least we get to eat delicious food as for the whole-day suffering.

joking. tomorrow, will be continued..

professional development

this is supposed to be written yesterday, a day before the practicum start. but never mind, as long as the work done ;p

This practicum is the first and last for us, the students of B.Ed (TESOL-Macquarie) program and for sure, I am terrified and overwhelmed at the same time. My mind lingers with too many questions which make me dizzy where to begin. However, some most prominent is asking myself of what good teacher is, the behaviour of a teacher, the judgement every teacher made in their teaching, the rationale thinking lies behind every act, and the ultimate question is, how? how? how? how can we do that? am I able to be like that? As the worry gets me nothing, I tried to search for clues and information about the school I get and talking to more experiential people in this field for some tips and advise.


My school, XXX, is a boy-school where most of trainee teachers who went there claimed the students were naughty and hard to be controlled. They asked me to be as vigilant as I could, to avoid any problem arises. Some also said that the headmaster was quite fierce and tough. The others said the teachers were not really helpful. Honestly I am extremely scared to face all of these, but it is not fair to judge them without even knowing them and just listen to Tom, Dick and Harry's saying. So, I decided to suspend my judgement, prepare myself to face any situation and to expect for the worst.


I read through few notes and keep my mind positive towards this teaching experience. I recall all of super-enthusiastic teachers and lecturers and remind myself of each advise they gave me. Jean Brick, one of my lecturer there, who does always show her utmost positive attitude and high interest in her teaching, caused us to feel and treasure such a condusive and lovable environment for learning. Mdm. Mariah, the one that shares her inspiring stories of teaching the young hearts and teach us to see things and hurtful memory from different angle and perspective of life. I believe that these people are the one who made and mould human being. and I, simply want to be one of those. 


I pray hard to God to enlighten my heart and my students' heart to keep learning and improving. To help us keep moving and help each other. To appreciate and love one another. To allow me to fulfil my duty as what the generation needs. God, show me the way, and I promise to myself to work hard as best as I could. Insya-Allah.